Chronicles Simpkins Will Cut Your Ass(2013)

Two Cars, One Night(en)

Sometimes first love is found in the most unlikely of places, like in the carpark outside the Te Kaha pub.

Snow Steam Iron(en)

“Snow gently falls on the blood-stained streets of a seedy out-of-time New York City. Steam envelopes the nightmare unfolding within its narrow alleys. Iron is the will of the one who would dare to resist… fight… survive.”

In the Soup(en)

An aspiring young filmmaker gets involved with an eccentric gangster for the financing of his first film.

Cosi(en)

Lewis, a young amateur theater director, is offered a job with a governmental program for the rehabilitation of mentally ill patients in a Sydney institution. His project is overrun by one of the patients, who wants to stage the opera Cosi Fan Tutte by Mozart, despite the fact that none of the patients can sing or speak Italian. A comedy of errors ensues, but one which unifies the patients and their director in unexpected ways.

CQ(en)

A young filmmaker in 1960s Paris juggles directing a cheesy sci-fi debacle, directing his own personal art film, coping with his crumbling relationship with his girlfriend, and a new-found infatuation with the sci-fi film's starlet.

A Futile and Stupid Gesture(en)

In a life full of triumph and failure, "National Lampoon" co-founder Doug Kenney built a comedy empire, molding pop culture in the 1970s.

A Dog Year(en)

Jon Katz is close to burnout. He's a writer with writer's block; his wife has left for her sister's because he's emotionally distant; he rarely answers his phone. A kennel sends him a border collie that's undisciplined because of abuse. Despite a series of mishaps, Jon decides to keep trying with the dog, and he rents a dilapidated farm house to give the dog room to run. A local handyman refers Jon to a woman who might be able to help him train the dog. Reluctantly, Jon gives her a try. Is the dog the problem, or the owner?

Somewhere in Queens(en)

Leo and Angela Russo live a simple life in Queens, surrounded by their overbearing Italian-American family. When their son finds success on his high school basketball team, Leo tears the family apart trying to make it happen.

Donald's Better Self(en)

Schoolboy Donald is torn between his angel and devil sides, though in Donald's case, the devil side isn't hard to resist. But the smoking he's encouraged to do turns him green and gives him regrets, and when the good side shows up and kicks evil's butt, Donald cheers.

...All the Marbles(en)

A two-bit promoter tries to take a women's wrestling team to the top.

The Truce Hurts(en)

Butch convinces Tom and Jerry that there's no reason to fight and they should all sign a peace treaty. Tom and Butch even rescue their pals from a fellow cat and dog. But then a steak falls off a truck and the boys can't decide how to divvy it up, ultimately losing it completely, and the truce is off.

7th & Union(en)

Ex-fighter Raymundo forms an unlikely bond with a disgruntled man whose life and relationship with his daughter are unraveling. The men join forces to win a fight that could very well save Raymundo, his wife and their child.

Family Weekend(en)

A 16-year-old girl takes her parents hostage after they miss her big jump-roping competition.

Strictly Sexual(en)

Two successful women, sick and tired of dating and relationships, decide to keep two young men in their pool house for strictly sexual purposes.

Dr. Bird's Advice for Sad Poets(en)

In the emotionally charged, wild and humorous world of sixteen year old James Whitman, his struggle to overcome anxiety and depression involve seeking advice from Dr. Bird - a giant imaginary pigeon therapist.

Solid Serenade(en)

Tom ties up Spike and sneaks into the courtyard of the glamorous Toodles Galore with his bass, hoping to woo her with his song, much to the annoyance of a sleeping Jerry.

Landline(en)

A teenager living with her sister and parents in Manhattan during the 1990s discovers that her father is having an affair.

Things Change(en)

Jerry, a misfit Mafia henchman, is assigned the low-level job of keeping an eye on Gino, a shoe repairman fingered by the Mob to confess to a murder he didn't commit. But Gino's mistaken for a Mafia boss, and the two are suddenly catapulted to the highest levels of mobster status. Only friendship will see them through this dangerous adventure alive!

Father of the Bride(en)

A father comes to grips with his daughter’s upcoming wedding through the prism of multiple relationships within a big, sprawling Cuban-American family.

Small Apartments(en)

When a clumsy deadbeat accidentally kills his landlord, he must do everything in his power to hide the body, only to find that the distractions of lust, the death of his beloved brother, and a crew of misfit characters force him on a journey where a fortune awaits him.

Breathe(en)

A woman is drawn to a lake by an unforeseeable force that keeps her there.

Dawn(en)

As dawn creeps across London, two lost outcasts meet in the darkness, more afraid of themselves than each other. As the sun begins to rise, and the veil of the night is lifted, the pair look into the cold light of day for hope and it takes more than just the eyes to see inside a soul.

Bad Night for the Blues(en)

Blues rinses, portraits of the queen and stand up bingo. Chris Shepherd delves into his past and recalls the world of his Aunty Glad and her local Conservative Club. The hues of blue that make up the Tory heartland are more than just a party - they are a state of mind.

La chaqueta del botones(es)

The Neolith(en)

On the moors of a desolate land where the silence of the wind reigns, a mysterious man challenges four bloodthirsty savages responsible for a horrible crime.

A Magic Mirror(it)

A jerk husband Sandro and his young wife Giulia have moved into a new apartment. She is unpacking, and he his lounging in the bath. When his brother Walter comes over to deliver a new wall mirror. The brother makes a pass at the young wife, as he has secretly wanted to do for years.

Love Is More Than I Can Handle(es)

Samuel is ten years old and is madly in love with Lucía, who is twelve years old and has a master plan to get rid of the only obstacle left in her life to get what she wants: to be a writer, film critic, and rich.

Teddy(en)

A desperate father tries his best to wake up his wife who's in a coma.

The Hungry Actors(en)

The Hungry Actors is a 1915 Comedy short.

Glimpse(en)

A highly emotive, visual feast set in the imaginative mind of a heartbroken panda called Herbie, who has recently broken up with his deer girlfriend Rice.

Deflation(en)

Pride going before the fall.

El buen mal(en)

I didn't worry about it, until the symptoms got worse. The doctors said I had no cure, I'd be sick for the rest of my life. I wish they had been right.

Taxistop(fr)

Antoine has to travel to Geneva to give a team-building seminar. Due to a train strike, he has to take a Taxistop. Five very different characters embark on a long journey together, where each problem proves to be an opportunity for Antoine to put his beliefs to the test.

Hotel Chevalier(en)

In a Paris hotel room, Jack Whitman lies on a bed. His phone rings; it's a woman on her way to see him, a surprise. She arrives and the complications of their relationship emerge in bits and pieces. Will they make love? Is their relationship over? (A prequel to The Darjeeling Limited, 2007.)

Mi Madre, My Father(en)

Reared by an abusive, pill-popping mother and an absentee playboy father, six-year-old Valentina must fend for herself. She does what she can to craft the illusion of normalcy: makes herself lunches that look just like the ones her classmates tote, dresses and grooms herself expertly, and lies to cover up for her mother Anita's erratic behavior.

Two Memories(en)

Henry and Marion have a lover's quarrel and part in anger. They do not reconcile, and ten years pass without contact. Marion becomes a society girl and spends her time at parties with her friends. Henry has become very ill and wishes to see Marion one more time. He writes asking her to visit. When she recieves the note, she laughs and tosses it on the floor, but, later, on a whim, decides to take all her drunken friends with her to visit him. When they arrive, Marion finds Henry dead, clutching her portrait in his hand. She sends her friends away and falls to her knees in remorse. Mary Pickford's debut!

Rocky and Bullwinkle(en)

After receiving the key to the city for their heroic efforts, Rocket J. Squirrel notices that Bullwinkle falls in love with a robotic moose. Unbeknownst to him, inside the moose is Boris Badinov, who, along with Natasha Fatale and Fearless Leader, are carrying out another plan to eliminate Rocky & Bullwinkle.

Cat Skin(pt)

A few weeks before Carnival, slum boys organize huntings for stray cats, whose leather can be used in Samba percussion instruments, like the Tamborim, a small drum.

Lilly White(en)

After her hands are severely damaged in an accident, an over-zealous hand model hatches an ill-conceived plan to get back in the extremity modeling game with her feet.

Boucherie fine(fr)

A butcher whose meat is most tender, surrounded successively by ephemeral and delightful cashiers.