
Olaf and his wife have lost that magic spark in their marriage. He wipes huge boogers on her face and they keep putting things in each other’s food like toenails and dandruff. Marriage counselors in the form of Hitler and Bin Laden seem completely alien to them, a secret baby is accidentally cooked, their genitals seem mutated, etc.
Schläger
Barack Obama (Familienberater #1)

Olaf and his wife have lost that magic spark in their marriage. He wipes huge boogers on her face and they keep putting things in each other’s food like toenails and dandruff. Marriage counselors in the form of Hitler and Bin Laden seem completely alien to them, a secret baby is accidentally cooked, their genitals seem mutated, etc.
2009-04-18
2.9
5.9A mousy librarian inherits her father's beloved but failing old movie house. In order to save the family business, she discovers her inner serial killer — and a legion of rabid gore fans — when she starts turning out a series of grisly shorts. What her fans don't realize yet is that the murders in the movies are all too real…
6.4After three years of therapy Charley Brewster, now a college student, is convinced that Jerry Dandridge was a serial killer posing as a vampire. But when Regine, a mysterious actress and her entourage move into Peter Vincent's apartment block, the nightmare starts again - and this time it's personal!
6.2Angela, the hostess from hell, summons her army of teen demons when teenagers from St. Rita's High School decide to party at the haunted Hull House on Halloween.
6.0Four friends get together for a nostalgic evening of fun and games after a decade of absence, which takes a dark turn.
5.9A young man inherits a nearly bankrupt funeral home from his estranged father. He falls in love with the alluring young mortician, only to find out she's offing people to keep the place in business!
6.6Teenage friends must resist the spell of an evil showman staging a house of horrors show in their small town.
6.2The fictional world of Royston Vasey is facing apocalypse and the only way to avert disaster is for our nightmarish cast of characters to find a way into the real world and confront their creators. From present day Soho to the fictional film world of 17th Century Britain, the residents must overcome countless bizarre obstacles in their bid to return Royston Vasey to safety.
6.3Hazel runs a beauty salon out of her house, but makes extra money by providing ruthless women the oppurtunity to perform hit jobs. L.T. is a parasite, and contacts Hazel looking for work after he runs out of money. She is reluctant to use him for a hit, since she prefers using women, but decides to try him on a trial basis. Meanwhile, the cop she pays off wants an arrest to make it look like he's doing his job, but Hazel doesn't want to sacrifice any of her "associates". The sleazy side of life is explored in this delightfully dark and deadpan film.
5.9Michael is a young boy living in a typical 1950s suburbanite home... except for his bizarre and horrific nightmares, and continued unease around his parents. Young Michael begins to suspect his parents are cooking more than just hamburgers on the grill outside, but has trouble explaining his fears to his new-found friend Sheila, or the school's social worker.
6.1After returning to her childhood home, young nun Colleen finds her old room exactly how she left it: painted black and covered in goth and metal posters. Her parents are happy enough to see her, but her brother is living as a recluse in the guesthouse since returning home from the Iraq war.
6.0Rivalries, dark secrets, and sexual tension emerge when three best friends find themselves stranded on a yacht in the middle of the ocean under suspicious circumstances.
6.2After being bitten by a lethal snake, a young woman experiences changes in her senses and appearance, as she sheds her old self and slowly turns into a deadly weapon.
6.0When troubled teen Milo, who has a fascination with vampire lore, meets the equally alienated Sophie, the two form a bond that begins to blur Milo's fantasy into reality.
6.4Dave, an artist who has yet to complete anything significant in his career, builds a fort in his living room out of pure frustration, only to wind up trapped by the fantastical pitfalls, booby traps, and critters of his own creation. Ignoring his warnings, Dave’s girlfriend Annie leads a band of oddball explorers on a rescue mission. Once inside, they find themselves trapped in an ever-changing supernatural world, threatened by booby traps and pursued by a bloodthirsty Minotaur.
6.0Two childhood friends now in their thirties must decide whether to follow their heads or their hearts once the man decides to follow his parents' advice and enter into an arranged marriage in Pakistan.
5.9Brandon prepares to give his last stand-up comedy show. As his stories and jokes pass, the public begins to cheer up. But at that precise moment Brandon will realize that these stories have a strong relationship with his past. More than he imagines.
5.8A stubborn idealist spies a bride on her way to her wedding and immediately falls in love with her.
6.3If you've never been good at anything in your life, why would murder be any different? Patrick has always had a somewhat combative relationship with his little sister Marilyn, but when she brings home her new sci-fi soap star fiancé Ryan, it's all out war. When Patrick fails to drive a wedge between the happy couple, he reaches for sharper instruments.
7.0When the four Willoughby children are abandoned by their selfish parents, they must learn how to adapt their Old-Fashioned values to the contemporary world in order to create something new: The Modern Family.
7.7Short film depicting a fictional educational film about fork lift truck operational safety. The dangers of unsafe operation are presented in gory details.
7.5Ash Williams and his girlfriend Linda find a log cabin in the woods with a voice recording from an archeologist who had recorded himself reciting ancient chants from "The Book of the Dead." As they play the recording an evil power is unleashed taking over Linda's body.
4.6In a post-apocalyptic world, a small group of survivors, who call themselves Foragers, plan to rebuild civilization from their headquarters in an empty hospital based in what is left of Philadelphia. But they're soon forced into a face-off war with the Rovers, another gang of survivors whom are a brutal gang of cannibals.
5.5Recently fired, a grim reaper with anger issues terrorizes a small town, killing and collecting souls for a purpose only he knows. Sam and Martin, slackers who work at the local bakery, are hired by a mysterious stranger to stop him from killing again. Now they are the only ones who can take out Death before it's too late, but these idiots have no idea what they've walked into.
5.6A rash of bizarre murders in New York City seems to point to a group of grotesquely deformed vagrants living in the sewers. A courageous policeman, a photojournalist and his girlfriend, and a nutty bum, who seems to know a lot about the creatures, band together to try and determine what the creatures are and how to stop them.
7.3Columbus has made a habit of running from what scares him. Tallahassee doesn't have fears. If he did, he'd kick their ever-living ass. In a world overrun by zombies, these two are perfectly evolved survivors. But now, they're about to stare down the most terrifying prospect of all: each other.
6.5An action epic that explores the origins of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force (better known as Master Shake, Frylock, and Meatwad,) who somehow become pitted in a battle over an immortal piece of exercise equipment.
8.2A Musical adaptation of Sam Rami's Evil Dead performed in Montreal.
6.2A gang of young thieves flee Paris during the violent aftermath of a political election, only to hole up at an Inn run by neo-Nazis.
5.2Tommy finds a cursed mirror and a diary in an attic in the new house they moved in. The mirror starts to give Tommy horrible and gruesome visions as his crush keeps rising from the dead.
6.0In a futuristic Tokyo where police have been privatized and bitter self-mutilation is so casual that advertising is often specially geared to the 'cutter' demographic, Ruka is on a mission to avenge her father's assassination. Ruka is a cop from a squad whose goal is to destroy homicidal mutant humans known as 'engineers', that possess the ability to transform any injury to a weapon in and of itself.
6.2Cosmo, an affectless mob bookie who lives in the basement of a retirement home, is promoted to hitman. He learns his new trade from Steve, a seasoned killer. He falls in love with a yoga teacher, Jasmine, and must figure out a way to leave the mob so they can be together.
6.5Jen's romantic getaway with her wealthy married boyfriend is disrupted when his friends arrive for an impromptu hunting trip. Tension mounts at the house until the situation culminates in an unexpected way.
4.8When a group of poachers is found mauled to death in the woods of the Pacific Northwest -- mirroring a grisly slaying that happened years ago, known as the "Echo Mountain Massacre" -- angry locals are convinced that the infamous Sasquatch is to blame. But that doesn't stop four passionate high school students from making a plea to spare the creature's life.
7.9After being deported back to Mexico, a man has no choice but to join the vicious drug cartel that has corrupted his hometown in order to survive.
4.3A military experiment to create a race of super-warriors goes awry, as legions of murderous zombies are unleashed upon a suburban neighborhood.
5.7Rachel, a rookie cop, is about to begin her first night shift in a neglected police station in a Scottish, backwater town. The kind of place where the tide has gone out and stranded a motley bunch of the aimless, the forgotten, the bitter-and-twisted who all think that, really, they deserve to be somewhere else. They all think they're there by accident and that, with a little luck, life is going to get better. Wrong, on both counts. Six is about to arrive - and All Hell Will Break Loose!
3.5Forty years ago a supernatural force vanquished Brooke and Rhea, a sexy lipstick lesbian couple, after they committed an inconceivable murder. Now, on New Year's Eve, they'll rise from the dead. Still hot and still a couple, they're back as vampires. Enamored with their newfound power, it's no longer a question of whether they will kill again, but of how.
5.5James Bataille is in love. He attempts to stage an elaborate motorcycle stunt to impress the girl, but when it goes sour, he ends up in prison with a 133-year sentence. Bataille escapes from behind bars to make an appointment to fix the car of music biz tycoon, as well as watch the love of his life take part in the town's annual talent show.