
In Old San Juan a 40+ year old divorcée is not aware he befriends a vampire who bites women, not in their necks but in their derrières, leaving them with flattened behinds. A vampire hunter from Europe warns Celestino about his neighbor and tries to recruit his help in salvaging a much cherished national heritage. But there is a difficulty: this vampire will not die by a stake through his heart and to avoid destruction he wears tin underwear.
Celestino

In Old San Juan a 40+ year old divorcée is not aware he befriends a vampire who bites women, not in their necks but in their derrières, leaving them with flattened behinds. A vampire hunter from Europe warns Celestino about his neighbor and tries to recruit his help in salvaging a much cherished national heritage. But there is a difficulty: this vampire will not die by a stake through his heart and to avoid destruction he wears tin underwear.
2003-10-27
8
A bloodfat comedy
6.0Reclusive vampires lounge in a lonely American town. They wear sunscreen to protect themselves. A descendant of Van Helsing arrives with hilarious consequences.
5.9After 15 years, Tomas, a not very succesfull writer, comes back to the village in Galicia where his family comes from, Arga, apparently to get an award. But he doesn't know the real reason why he is there, to end with an old curse that is been haunting the village for the last hundred years.
6.0Four friends get together for a nostalgic evening of fun and games after a decade of absence, which takes a dark turn.
6.4A gang of gold thieves land in a coven of witches who are preparing for an ancient ritual... and in need of a sacrifice.
6.4After three years of therapy Charley Brewster, now a college student, is convinced that Jerry Dandridge was a serial killer posing as a vampire. But when Regine, a mysterious actress and her entourage move into Peter Vincent's apartment block, the nightmare starts again - and this time it's personal!
7.0Charley Brewster, a high school student, accidentally discovers the true and creepy nature of Jerry Dandrige, his dashing and enigmatic new neighbor; but no one seems willing to believe him.
5.8Mark wants to lose his virginity, but his girlfriend wants to wait. Unfortunately for both of them, a 400-year-old vampire Countess needs to turn a virgin into a vampire before Halloween in order to preserve her own youthful appearance, and when she finds Mark, she turns his life upside-down.
6.2Angela, the hostess from hell, summons her army of teen demons when teenagers from St. Rita's High School decide to party at the haunted Hull House on Halloween.
5.9A mousy librarian inherits her father's beloved but failing old movie house. In order to save the family business, she discovers her inner serial killer — and a legion of rabid gore fans — when she starts turning out a series of grisly shorts. What her fans don't realize yet is that the murders in the movies are all too real…
6.0When troubled teen Milo, who has a fascination with vampire lore, meets the equally alienated Sophie, the two form a bond that begins to blur Milo's fantasy into reality.
6.9A noted professor and his dim-witted apprentice fall prey to their inquiring vampires, while on the trail of the ominous damsel in distress.
5.9A young man inherits a nearly bankrupt funeral home from his estranged father. He falls in love with the alluring young mortician, only to find out she's offing people to keep the place in business!
6.3If you've never been good at anything in your life, why would murder be any different? Patrick has always had a somewhat combative relationship with his little sister Marilyn, but when she brings home her new sci-fi soap star fiancé Ryan, it's all out war. When Patrick fails to drive a wedge between the happy couple, he reaches for sharper instruments.
5.8A vampire attacks a horror author on the street and then invites him to a nearby club as a gesture of gratitude, which turns out to be a meeting place for assorted creatures of the night. The vampire then regales him with three stories, each interspersed with musical performances at the club.
6.7An LA vampire hunter has a week to come up with the cash to pay for his kid's tuition and braces. Trying to make a living these days just might kill him.
5.9Anthropologist Joe Weber takes his son on a trip to the New England town of Salem's Lot, unaware of its vampire population. When the inhabitants reveal their secret, they seek Weber to write a bible for them.
6.2After living for over two centuries, Augusto Pinochet is a vampire ready to die… but the vultures around him won't let him go without one last bite.
6.5After her life falls apart, soft-spoken actress Laura Franco finds her voice again when she meets a terrifying, yet weirdly charming, monster living in her closet.
6.2Marie is a vampire with a thirst for bad guys. When she fails to properly dispose of one of her victims, a violent mob boss, she bites off more than she can chew and faces a new, immortal danger.