Sister Funk
Father Pipecock
Ariana - Bride of Orlock
Fräulein Wassermann - Mistress of Orlock

A reimagining /regurgitation and re-dubbing of a classic silent horror flick! Shot in mind-shattering 2D (& 36DD), featuring T&A and epic voice-over ‘voom’, by Ms. Ilham Otaku & Pepe Chingadero! Original 1922 star Max Schreck plays (in newly tinted archive footage, mixed, with new) Count Orlock, a deviant, adulterous, shape-shifting Transylvanian vampire aristocrat & super creep, who is tearing Bremen, a new corn-hole & it's up to a 'brotha-in-a-collar' and a creole nun with a flamin' gun, to stop him, in this 'creature-feature' fang-fest! Co-Starring Canadian Scream Queen: Vivita, with new footage shot in tantalizing Watt-a-Rama & dubbed in Tex-O-Phonic Super-Sound
2014-03-09
2
The bloody, gothic, erotic, neurotic vampiric love-story that couldn't stay silent.
0.0Teresa has a frayed relationship with her girlfriend Veronica. Teresa's attempts to stay close to her are thwarted, which will lead Teresa to make a decision that will completely change their lives.
7.1When an unsuspecting town newcomer is drawn to local blood fiends, the Frog brothers and other unlikely heroes gear up to rescue him.
5.8A vampire in London is searching for the ideal woman to 'redeem' him.
5.9On the surface, Saya is a stunning 16-year-old, but that youthful exterior hides the tormented soul of a 400-year-old "halfling". Born to a human father and a vampire mother, she has for centuries been a loner obsessed with using her samurai skills to rid the world of vampires, all the while knowing that she herself can survive only on blood like those she hunts.
6.0Set in Tokyo in 1998, three 19-year-old time patrollers are dispatched to take part in time travelling vampire hunting.
4.7A boy who gets frustrated in love meets another boy who loses all of his memories and they find some ways to start a new life together.
6.2A race of space vampires arrives in London and infects the populace, commencing an apocalyptic descent into chaos.
8.7The film is about a woman who experiences frightening visions after visiting an insane asylum where one of the inmates claims to be Count Dracula (here following the Hungarian spelling Drakula). She has trouble determining whether the inmate's visions are real or merely nightmares.
5.2It's not unusual for alcoholic cop Lou to black out and wake up in unfamiliar surroundings, but lately things have taken a turn for the strange...and hairy. WolfCop is the story of one cop's quest to become a better man. One transformation at a time.
7.3After Jonathan Harker attacks Dracula at his castle, the vampire travels to a nearby city, where he preys on the family of Harker's fiancée. The only one who may be able to protect them is Dr. van Helsing, Harker's friend and fellow-student of vampires, who is determined to destroy Dracula, whatever the cost.
6.8A farm boy reluctantly becomes a member of the undead when a girl he meets turns out to be part of a band of vampires who roam the highways in stolen cars.
6.1Vampire Lestat awakens from his slumber and becomes a rock star. But chaos strikes when his music awakens Akasha, the vampire queen, who may not rest until she makes Lestat her new king.
4.6A bank-robbing gang of misfits heads to Mexico with the blueprints for the perfect million-dollar heist, but when one of the crooks wanders into the wrong bar, the thieving cohorts develop a thirst for blood.
6.1When a lawyer shows up at the vampire's doorstep, he falls prey to his charms and joins him in his search for fresh blood. Enter Professor Van Helsing, who may be the only one able to vanquish the Count.
5.1Detective Rita Veder is assigned to a baffling serial murder case. After examining the crime scene — a corpse-filled ship found adrift at sea — she meets Maximilian, a smooth-talking Caribbean playboy determined to romance her.
6.0For cynical tabloid journo Richard Dees, facts are always stranger than fiction. Every headline is a dead-line. Serial killers, UFO abductions, tales of molestation, mayhem and murder. To some the tales are mere sleazy fantasy – but his faithful readers believe. And now there's a new story: The Night Flier. What is it that travels by night in a dark-winged Cessna, lands at secluded airfields and murders local residents? Dees begins to track the unknown killer in a Cessna of his own, uncovering clues that reveal a pilot more terrifying than he could have ever imagined.
1.0A young Russian woman who is actually a vampire is being used by a prostitution ring. They are in fact supplying girls to be killed by rich and perverted clients. She finds the list of the clients involved in this traffic and starts her revenge.
5.7England, 1897. Abraham Van Helsing receives a letter from his former student Dr John Seward requesting his urgent assistance in the northern town of Whitby, where his fiancée Lucy is showing all the signs of vampirism. Van Helsing follows the bloody trail to the coffin of Count Dracula himself. Van Helsing is a fresh take on the legend of Dracula through the eyes of his greatest enemy.
6.5A prequel to the first two Underworld films, this fantasy explains the origins of the feud between the Vampires and the Lycans. Aided by his secret love, Sonja, courageous Lucian leads the Lycans in battle against brutal Vampire king Viktor. Determined to break the king's enslavement of his people, Lucian faces off against the Death Dealer army in a bid for Lycan independence.
6.1Vampires have just made themselves public! Now a group of documentarians have been granted access to spend some time with them and learn how they live and coexist with humans. But as reality sets in, the crew realize they are in for far more than they bargained for.
6.1In the town of Dillford, humans, vampires and zombies were all living in peace - until the alien apocalypse arrived. Now three teenagers-one human, one vampire, and one zombie-have to team up to figure out how to get rid of the visitors.
6.2Martin was a normal teenage boy before the country collapsed in an empty pit of economic and political disaster. A vampire epidemic has swept across what is left of the nation's abandoned towns and cities, and it's up to Mister, a death dealing, rogue vampire hunter, to get Martin safely north to Canada, the continent's New Eden.
5.8Mark wants to lose his virginity, but his girlfriend wants to wait. Unfortunately for both of them, a 400-year-old vampire Countess needs to turn a virgin into a vampire before Halloween in order to preserve her own youthful appearance, and when she finds Mark, she turns his life upside-down.
6.0Reclusive vampires lounge in a lonely American town. They wear sunscreen to protect themselves. A descendant of Van Helsing arrives with hilarious consequences.
6.5Following the events of Volume 1, the mutated glee club continue their violent rampage in Tromaville. Chrissy and Lauren, two innocent lesbian lovers, must fight not only the Cretins, mutants, and monsters but also the evil Tromorganic Foodstuffs Conglomerate. Can they, and Kevin the Wonder Duck, save Tromaville High School and the world?
7.0After an extramarital indiscretion, a fairy-tale prince and his sidekick are turned into frogs for all eternity or until the prince can convince a maiden to kiss and then marry him.
5.8After being stung by a giant insect, Cooper learns that these bugs are attacking the whole city. He joins forces with the survivors, in order to find a way to counter-attack.
6.3After the collapse of Earth's ecosystem, Vesper, a 13-year-old girl struggling to survive with her paralyzed Father, meets a mysterious Woman with a secret that forces Vesper to use her wits, strength and bio-hacking abilities to fight for the possibility of a future.
6.4Timmy Robinson's best friend in the whole wide world is a six-foot tall rotting zombie named Fido. But when Fido eats the next-door neighbor, Mom and Dad hit the roof, and Timmy has to go to the ends of the earth to keep Fido a part of the family. A boy-and-his-dog movie for grown ups, "Fido" will rip your heart out.
6.4Dave, an artist who has yet to complete anything significant in his career, builds a fort in his living room out of pure frustration, only to wind up trapped by the fantastical pitfalls, booby traps, and critters of his own creation. Ignoring his warnings, Dave’s girlfriend Annie leads a band of oddball explorers on a rescue mission. Once inside, they find themselves trapped in an ever-changing supernatural world, threatened by booby traps and pursued by a bloodthirsty Minotaur.
7.0Geeky 14-year old Ethan is left to babysit his younger sister, Jane, with his best friend Benny but after Ethan inadvertently puts Jane in harm's way, his parents hire a professional babysitter, the beautiful yet mysterious 17-year-old Sarah who, unbeknownst to them, is actually a fledgling vampire.
6.5After status-obsessed teen Sara has sex for the first time, she wakes up the next day nine months pregnant-with an alien.
6.9A noted professor and his dim-witted apprentice fall prey to their inquiring vampires, while on the trail of the ominous damsel in distress.
7.0When Van Helsing's mysterious invention, the "Monsterfication Ray," goes haywire, Drac and his monster pals are all transformed into humans, and Johnny becomes a monster. In their new mismatched bodies, Drac and Johnny must team up and race across the globe to find a cure before it's too late, and before they drive each other crazy.
5.9After a freak accident, an invisible yuppie runs for his life from a treacherous CIA official while trying to cope with his new life.
6.2Marie is a vampire with a thirst for bad guys. When she fails to properly dispose of one of her victims, a violent mob boss, she bites off more than she can chew and faces a new, immortal danger.
5.9When an archaeologist uncovers a strange skull in a foreign land, the residents of a nearby town begin to disappear, leading to further inexplicable occurrences.
6.7In the not-too-distant future, an all-seeing surveillance state conducts “dream audits” to collect taxes on the unconscious lives of the populace. Mild-mannered government agent James Preble travels to a remote farmhouse to audit the dreams of Arabella “Bella” Isadora, an eccentric, aging artist. Entering Bella’s vast VHS archive, which contains a lifetime of dreams, Preble stumbles upon a secret that offers him a chance at love—and hope for escape.
5.9David Hyde Pierce, playing an alien (credited as infinity-cubed in the opening credits), narrates a courtship in a late-20th century American city as an extraterrestrial nature documentary. The relationship "footage" is played straight, while the voice-over (with its most often wildly inaccurate theories) and elaborate visual metaphors add comedy.